


The moment Ryan knew he fucked up

by LordOfDeath



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Happy Ending, Instagram, M/M, Misunderstandings, Parrot!Shane, Shifter AU, Shyan Valentine's 2020, Shyan Writing Events, Social Media, Texting, Unrequited Love, freaking out, panther!Ryan, pantherverse, posting, valentines day, yes but actually no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23087014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfDeath/pseuds/LordOfDeath
Summary: Ryan posts a few pictures of him and Shane on Valentine's day because they spent it together.It leads to the whole internet, and their families thinking they're dating.But are they really?
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 11
Kudos: 116





	1. The Plan

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MiraclesofPaul](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraclesofPaul/gifts).



Ryan and Shane have been hanging out a lot after work lately and despite their differences in shifted forms, they get along great.  
Shane struggled a bit at the beginning of their friendship because Ryan wasn't simply a predator, he was a black panther which Shane wasn't expecting. He thought his friend was a Lil cat at best, until one day he shifted and caught Shane off guard, making him shift into the little parrot he was..and they ended up staring at each other. It was a terrifying moment that was broken by Ryan, sticking his tongue out and looking innocently at him, maybe even apologetically, so he relaxed a little and they both changed back.

Shane's been completely comfortable around Ryan in his shifted form for months now, he doesn't even remember whose idea it was to take some photos of Shane in his parrot form, chilling in the professor mug, looking adorable. Probably Ryan's.

"Okay, I admit that's a pretty good picture," Shane says after he shifts back and leans over his shoulder to take a peek at it.

"Right? I'm gonna put this on the gram for sure, I love it" Ryan answers, grinning at Shane. He loves posting about him anyways, but he'd rather not tell that to his friend though.

"Sure, tag me!" Shane smiles back at him sweetly. Ryan posting anything about him always made his heart flutter a little. Like it's special. In reality, it's not really. Ryan posts about all of his friends, but Shane can dream. 

"Sure I'll tag you" he looks at him softly. He's been harboring romantic feelings for his pal and best friend for a while and been posting a bit more about him too. He's glad it's not obvious because he posts about literally everything...  
"Anyway, want to get lunch then see a movie? " he offers, trying to be casual. Ryan just wants to spend more time with him and he's desperate.

"Yeah, let me grab my bag and we can go. Taco Bell sounds good to you?" Shane asks and goes to grab his bag, and that's when Ryan panics internally.

"Actually... " Ryan had been thinking of asking him out to a more fancy place but.. that would be too obvious so he decides against it and says "that sounds perfect, yes" instead, with a smile.

"Sure, buddy." Shane gives him a bit of a weird look before turning, giving a squeeze to his shoulder. It seemed like Ryan wanted to add something but he lets it go for now.  
"Well, we could. We could just walk around for all I care, see if we find a cool place, like a hidden gem?" Shane offers. "You know like Tourist Trapped. We just let LA lead us." He laughs.

Ryan beams at him "that sounds so dope, man! We can do that for sure. " he grins "we can take silly pics of each other too.. " he's very happy Shane can't hear how his heart is going crazy right now.  
It'll be like a valentines day date..well more like a valentines day not-date but he can pretend at least.

Shane nearly melts as he's looking at him. That silly idea was so worth mentioning, just so he can see Ryan smile like that, no matter what he does, even if he makes a fool of himself, it's so fucking worth it.  
"Yeah, we can do that. Gonna roast you on my Instagram."   
He teases, almost breathless when he remembers where he is and what they're doing.

"Sounds great big guy" Ryan gives him a clap on his shoulder  
"Should we?" he asks and gestures for the door with a grin.

Shane grins back at him, it's easy when Ryan looks at him like that. He locks arms with him, going for the door, feeling brave because they're so carefree lately. "A tribute to us hopping off into the sunset like this in that Ladylike video. Remember that?" He says, all smiles.

Ryan feels so giddy all of a sudden and he beams at him "yea! I had so much fun. Let's go" he giggles, like a fucking teen girl

"You're so weird." Shane snorts, but doesn't pull away, he just continues walking with him like that. Until they get to the street and then he does pull away. Ryan probably would've anyway.

Ryan feels a bit disappointed by that but tries not to show it.  
"So which direction we're going? Or should I pick it? " he grins, seeing an opportunity to make his plan work.

"Sure, go for it, little guy," Shane says, lips twitching into a smile. "Let's go on an adventure, baby!"

Ryan snorts and takes the lead.  
"An adventure indeed" he murmurs.  
He's going to lead them to that restaurant he wanted to take him in the first place but tries to act like he doesn't know where they're going.

"I don't even know when was the last time I just walked around here aimlessly. It's pretty nice." Shane hums, he walks up next to Ryan, just letting him choose where they're going and fuck, Shane is struggling. He wants to reach out and take Ryan's hand so badly. But he doesn't, because he shouldn't.

Meanwhile, Ryan is struggling as well, but he also radiates excitement. He is so ready to take Shane to a fancy restaurant. Even if it's not a real date, damn it.  
"It's pretty nice, yea," he says, breathless, and looks around, taking a turn at one point, making it seem random.  
The restaurant has to be at the end of this street, so he has to try not to beeline for it because that would be suspicious.

"But I'm also getting to the point of starving so I hope we find something soon. I'm sure there are some taco trucks around here at least." He hums, glancing around.

Ryan wants to roll his eyes but he just snorts and keeps going  
"No worries, I'm sure we find something" he glances at him, Ryan hopes there aren't any taco trucks before they can reach the restaurant.

But of course, Shane is out there wanting to thwart his plans.--

"Hey, I think there's a Wendy's down that street on the left." Shane grabs Ryan's wrist instinctively, just gently holding onto it to get his attention and point it out for him.

Ryan panics and looks around, pretending not to see anything  
"Uh, I don't think there is, big guy. We could just go on. "  
He murmurs to himself but doesn't shake Shane's hand off

Shane lets out an exasperated sigh. "Fine. But if I die here, on the curb, you will be responsible, Ryan." He huffs and follows him. And well, he forgets to let go. He still has his fingers curled around Ryan's wrist, almost holding his hand but not quite. "So hungry, and so cold, all alone in my last moments on this world."

"I'm right here you asshole" he wheezes, and he enjoys the little press of Shane's fingers so he doesn't say anything about it, or move his hand too much so Shane won't let go.

I bet you'd just leave me here." Shane wheezes softly. "With all the talk about murdering me on Unsolved, I bet you'd be happy your big pal would bite the dust, huh Ryan?" Shane teases, he's joking around, mostly to rile Ryan up a bit. He knows Ryan would care and that's why he's grinning so bright.

Ryan looks at him and smiles "oh you look very happy about me, leaving you here to die on the churb...so enthusiastic. "  
"I'd be very happy if it would mean you shut up for once.. " he wheezes but it's obvious he doesn't mean it. He loves Shane too much.

Shane puts a hand on his heart, squeezing Ryan's wrist with the other, just lightly and he lets out a very offended gasp. "How dare you! I wouldn't want you next to my deathbed anyway." He huffs. "You'd miss my glorious voice and you know it, Bergara."

"Of course I would, big guy..stop being dramatic" he smiles at him brightly. He almost can't believe he's in love with this man.

"Can't stop my true nature shining through, baby." Shane grins back at him, he always seems to mirror Ryan's smile. He throws in a wink too, for good measure. "But seriously Ryan if we don't find anything in the next five minutes I'm calling a Lyft and we're going to Wendy's." He groans.

"Okay, fair"   
He snorts and starts going a bit faster "it's a deal, I'm sure we'll bump into something eventually. It's LA, baby!"  
That wink killed something in Ryan. Probably his last threads of never claimed heterosexuality.

"It's ridiculous, everything should be littered with fast-food restaurants and food trucks. All I see is the twentieth expensive ass clothing store. Seriously, who would pay that much for a white T-shirt?" Shane scoffs, glancing over at a storefront.

"Not me for sure" he huffs, focused on his mission. The restaurant has to be pretty close and he's thinking if he should let Shane notice it first.

Shane walks with him for a few minutes still, he almost zones out when he sees the little restaurant and perks up.   
"Oh my god is that a restaurant? Fucking finally, I don't even care how expensive it is, come on."  
His hand on Ryan's arm slides lower and he holds onto his hand without even really noticing it, he starts insistently tugging him towards the place across the street.

Ryan is fucking happy, he could burst.  
"Oh heck yes, I need something to eat" he giggles as he squeezes his hand, following him.


	2. The Restaurant

"We are bringing snacks to our next adventure." He tells Ryan when they're inside and Shane asked for a.table for two already. He still has Ryan's hand clasped in his and it feels so warm suddenly. He really should pull away, but Ryan doesn't so maybe it's okay... No one commented on it yet at least.

"We should" he hums as he looks around. The pace is full of couples... That makes his heart ache but melt at the same time.  
He is lucky to even spend this day with Shane.

A guy comes up to them, smiling and seeing their clasped hands, he adds "sorry for keeping you waiting, but Valentines day we're very full, so it's better to reserve a table. We found one, in the back though, so you can enjoy your date" he beams at them happily.

Shanes's heart jumps into his throat and he glances over at Ryan, keeping his expression neutral, but his eyes are wide. He wouldn't mind normally, the opposite, he'd be so goddamn happy about it, the waiter thinking they're a couple. And Shane can't blame him either, but he doesn't know what Ryan's reaction would be. So he pulls his hand away discreetly before Ryan would and looks down sheepishly. "Uhh, we're not-"

Ryan silences him by squeezing his hand  
"We're so thankful. We weren't thinking this through, and I'm so happy to find a restaurant.. " he smiles at the guy "I have to tell You it was kind of a last-minute thing..next time we'll reserve a table, right big guy? " he grins up at him. He can tell Shane later that he did it so they'll have a table for sure or whatever...

Shane stares back at him for a long second and glances back at the waiter with a polite smile and a nod, looking back at Ryan. He almost feels dazed with the urge to just kiss him right there. "Yeah, right, thank you." He hums, distracted.

The waiter seems to be pleased with this and he leads them to their table. It looks so cozy and romantic.. It even has a candle and a rose in the middle.  
This is slightly more than what Ryan was prepared for.  
He sits down, letting go of Shane's hand and the waiter sets the menu down in front of them, telling them he'll be right back

"Wow, it really is Valentine's day, huh?" Shane wheezes softly, poking at the rose. He tries to avoid looking at Ryan directly because his heart is still beating like crazy and Shane's not sure how much more it could take. Not Ryan's sunshine smile, that's for sure.

Ryan looks around, a little awkwardly "Yea, they went all out for sure. "

"Uhh, they sure did." Shane hums and starts looking at the menu, ordering when their waiter comes back.

Ryan orders something too, feeling a bit nervous, even though it's not an actual date...

"This place is very nice, you know. It was worth almost starving to death for." Shane breaks the silence and laughs softly, finally looking up at Ryan. "Wanna take a photo? I mean the view is so good from the window, it would be a shame if we wouldn't." He asks almost shyly.  
Ryan snorts and then smiles at that, one of his Sunshine ones and reaches for his phone "Of course bug guy"

"Okay, keep that smile going." Shane grins and leans into his side, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, just casually. Even though his heart is fucking jumping out of his chest. Because this feels so much like a date and Shane desperately wishes it would be.

Ryan blushes and opens the camera, angling the phone so both of them are in it, smiling. He hopes it isn't evident in the picture, how flushed he is.

Shane presses his face against Ryan just a bit. Only so they both can fit in the frame of course. His fingers slightly tighten on his shoulder before slowly pulling away after Ryan took the picture. "Does it look good?"

Ryan looks at the picture, smiling and shows it to Shane "yea, we look cool!" he bumps their shoulders together, playfully.

"Well, I always look cool, don't know about you..." Shane snorts softly and scoots back with his chair, just in time with their food arriving.

Ryan thanks the waiter and looks at his plate.  
"Woah, the food looks amazing."

"It does, yeah." Shane hums, barely even looking at his plate while does so, staring at Ryan instead. This whole romantic atmosphere be damned. Why did they have to come here out of all places?

Ryan just nods in agreement and they both start to dig in but stealing glances at eachother.

"Man, we have to come here more often. This is wonderful." Shane says with a big smile.

"Yea it is, the food is so good, the atmosphere too, it almost makes me wanna kiss you or something, all this fucking decor" he wheezes,and maybe he should just shut up at this point.

Shane almost chokes on his drink, and he feels his face heat up, but he laughs it off, looking everywhere but at Ryan. "Okay, calm down. Didn't know you were such a hopeless romantic, Bergara. A candlelit dinner and some roses are enough to put you in the mood, huh?"

"Looks like it is, Madej" he winks at him, knowing he's paying dangerously here.

"You're honestly the worst..." Shane murmurs, trying to hide his smile behind his glass, but the crinkle of his eyes betray him as he looks at Ryan, so softly.

Ryan looks back at him and- It's like they're having a moment. He lifts his drink to his lips too, smiling at him softly as he takes a sip.  
It's so damn romantic.

Shane doesn't dare to say anything, looking into Ryan's eyes. If he could he'd just lean it and kiss him, he almost does, in fact. He goes to put his drink down and just fucking do it. Except he puts the glass on the table a little too carelessly and nearly spills, he has to.scrable and catch it. "Oh fuck." Shane laughs softly.

"Woah there..be careful big guy!" Ryan says with a giggle. 

"I'm doing my best." He laughs and goes back to his food. The moment passed anyway. He wishes he would've done it sooner.

Ryan feels a bit disappointed.. At some point, he really thought they'll kiss, and now he feels like an idiot.  
"Yea, that's all that matters." 

Shane makes some small talk, or he's talking about Watcher stuff, anything that comes up. He never gets tired of speaking to Ryan and doing their silly banter even off-camera. And though it's totally not a date it still feels like it. Shane feels just as excited and fluttery.  
Ryan feels giddy and excited too, it feels awfully like a date, but he knows it isn't. Goddamnit, he's sure Shane flirted with him at one point, but it probably wasn't intentional.

"I can get the check and we could call a Lyft if you want." Shane offers softly after they're out of food and topics to talk about. He's looking Ryan with a small smile, chin propped up on his palm.

"Yea, Yea we could. " he agrees. He doesn't know if it's an offer or not. They will probably go to separate apartments after this as Shane probably doesn't mean what Ryan desperately wants him to...


	3. The ride home

Shane pays for their food, and puts his jacket on, waiting for Ryan. He almost offers his hand but pulls it back the last second, forgetting that he's not on an actual date and it stings just a little.  
Ryan gets ready and goes to wait with him. He's a bit bummed out that it's over  
"well this was... a nice adventure" he lets out a little laugh

"I had a lot of fun," Shane answers, in a hushed tone. "We should go on more adventures together."  
He smiles down at Ryan, bumping their shoulders playfully, Ryan smiles back at him, so grateful to have him, even as a friend.

Shane calls them a ride and as they're climbing in the car he gives both of their address. Because he's a fucking coward, that's what he is.

Ryan feels his heart drop, even though he expected it so he just rolls with it. It's only a little awkward.

Shane is quiet the entire ride, but he sits close, pressing his thigh to Ryan's lightly and keeping his hands in his lap, he physically has to hold himself back from reaching for Ryan's hand.  
The little guy is glad for the pressure against his legs and shifts a bit closer so they are pressed together but he doesn't dare to speak either.

Shane almost doesn't want to get out when the driver stops at his apartment. He glances over at Ryan and pauses. Shane could kiss him right now. He licks his lips. But it would be a horrible idea and it would ruin their friendship. So he just smiles and ducks his head as he pulls away to climb out of the car. "See you tomorrow, Ry. Text me when you get home, yeah?"

Ryan doesn't know what the expected and he kind of wants to lean in to give him a peck but decides against it. He still had a blast today.  
"Yepp, see you..I'll text you when I get home."

Shane smiles at him before backing out and going up to his apartment. His stomach does a little uneasy flip as he glances back and watches them drive away. He kinda feels like he just missed his chance. But it's stupid, his brain is just projecting his feelings, Ryan would never want him. They hang out, had a blast and that's it. It happened to be on Valentine's day, so what? It doesn't mean anything. Shane tells himself that as he takes a quick shower and pets Obi, as he lays down next to him on the couch.


	4. What a night

Ryan gets home feeling..antsy.There is that little voice in his head that tells him he should have done something but he didn't because he's a coward, and Shane would never want him anyways.  
He goes to lay down on his bed after undressing and tossing the clothes away, then goes to text Shane, as he promised but his finger hovers over the keyboard of his phone,, after sending "hey big guy, home safe"  
Should he add more? Probably not. He groans and decides that if he's already moping, and pining after his best friend, he might as well do it right, and take a look at the pictures he took today, so he does exactly that.

"Hey, little guy." Shane is aware he's smiling at his phone like a dopey teen and he doesn't care in the slightest, not even when Obi gives him a side-eye. "Whatya doing?"

"Just looking at the pics I took, so I can upload some to the gram"Ryan types absentmindedly, as he tries to choose his favorites.  
he doesn't want to spam his viewers too much, he does that all the time anyway.

Send me them too! Wanna have them on my phone. I'll probably just reshare what you'll upload. If I can't pick one I especially like." Shane texts. He knows he needs to tone it down but fuck it he doesn't want to.

Ryan grins at his phone and sends him all the pics he took. " here, it's a ton... "

"Some of these I don't even know you took, what the hell Ryan." He looks through them all and saves the nicest and goofiest ones. He keeps going back to the picture they took in the restaurant though, it has to be his favorite. They both look so soft. And like it was taken on their first date.  
Because Shane is secretly a big sap he sets it as his lock screen. Just for a minute or two, he knows he can't leave it that way. But still, looking at it makes his heart swell.

"Hey! I just tried to capture the moment,,"  
Well fuck, maybe it's not normal to take so many pics of your best friend, but it happens if you're hopelessly in love with said best friend.  
He looks at them and he melts. Especially the one where Shane curled up in his parrot form. He decides to post that one, and he captions it like "love this lil guy" and tags Shane  
Then he looks at the one they took in the restaurant and is the cutest, then uploads it too, feeling brave, and captioning it like "valentines day adventure with the big guy was awesome"  
Then he tags Shane in it too, waiting for him to see it.

Shane's heart picks up as he gets the notifications and it fucking stops too as he opens them to those captions. He's smiling so hard his face hurts and shit, all he wants is Ryan next to him so he can kiss him senseless. He likes both of them and comments under the one they took in the restaurant first. "And what an adventure it was! " He debates about the heart, deleting it and then rewriting it. It might be too much, but it's kind of late at night anyway and Shane feels so fucking giddy he doesn't care. Fuck toxic masculinity, if he wants to send it with a heart, he will send it with a heart.  
He puts the parrot picture in his story a few minutes later with the text "I wonder who this handsome fella is" and "you heard it here first folks" after quoting Ryan's caption. Ryan admitting he loves him so openly makes him incredibly soft too even if Ryan only means it in a best friend way. Shane can live with that.

Ryan is smiling so hard his face hurts. Holy shit, this almost feels like they're freshly dating. He comments a lil kissy-face emoji because he's a dick, and he's very much in love, okay?

You're so sappy, it's rubbing off on me." He texts Ryan as he's getting up from the couch to move into his bed, leaving Obi there to snore away.

"Oh I'm sorry, it does?" he writes back, playing innocent." you know I'm a sap. I had a good day btw it was fun" he writes back, laying in his bed.

"I had a good day too. I always do, with you." Shane confesses. "You see? This is all your fault, fuck you, Ryan. I have a reputation to uphold." He texts back jokingly.

"OH fuck off, I know you're so soft.." he texts back "but I do too" he adds, smiling at his phone like a giddy teenager.

"In your dreams, Bergara. Speaking of which, goodnight. See you tomorrow?" He asks, stretching out on his bed.

"yea, see you big guy, see you in my dreams.." he adds, for dramatic effect

"Oh? Another one where I die? Or a kinky one? Your pick, Ry..." He sends with a winking emoji.

"maybe both"

Shane laughs as he types out an answer. "Revealing more of your weird kinks I see. It's all coming together."

"oh fuck off and go to sleep already"

"So bossy too. Is this what you get off to, Ry-guy?" He teases. "I'm going, I'm going. Wanna come over tomorrow? Get a bunch of discounted candy and binge some movies?" He asks.

"Oh Woah keep it in your pants big guy, and stop projecting so hard." he writes back, like the little shit he is.  
"We'll see..it depends on what we're watching." he teases, even though he knows he'll say yes to whatever.

Shane huffs but decides to not even address that. Because, maybe... "Oh please I say the words "I have popcorn" and you drop everything. I was thinking Ghostbusters? Maybe even the Paddington movies..."

"Pftt I read...drop to your knees, and the worst part is that it would have been an accurate reaction to popcorn.." he snorts to himself  
"But you're not wrong and you got me with Paddington so sure I'm in.."

"Good god, you're horny tonight." he wants to add 'should be invited you up today' but deletes it. It's too forward. He shouldn't hit on Ryan so openly. "I know you would've been in anyway, but so generous of you to grace me with your company."

"only horny for popcorn, as always. You're right, I'd be in anyways, but the promise of some good movie makes it better.."

"See you after work then! Goodnight, Ry. I really did have fun today." He adds sheepishly.

"yea, see you. I did too, best Valentines day I had in a long time, actually" he adds because he's weak.

"Actually, same here. We have to go to that restaurant again. You know, for special occasions." He texts, smiling into his pillow

"We sure do, it's a date!" he adds and fuck..he sent it instead of deleting it so he rushes to add...  
"meaning it's all set"  
because he still is a coward.

"Yepp, all set." Shane texts back after he calmed down after the mini heart attack he almost got, seeing Ryan's text.

"Good.cool.see you tomorrow then, goodnight Shane!" he hurries to write

"We said goodnight like three times, dumbass," Shane replies fondly smiling at his phone. "Bye, Ryan."

Ryan puts down his phone and goes to sleep, it's the best he can do.


	5. The morning after

Shane wakes up the next morning and he sobers up completely as he checks his phone after laying around a bit. He has so many messages. So fucking many. And it's all about one thing, of course it is. They were dumb enough to post those photos last night and now Shane has thousands of people flooding his inbox. Lots of congratulations and people asking if he and Ryan are together, not to mention all the news sites asking them for a statement or interview. Panic settles in his stomach because if he got this, Ryan must've gotten even more messages, comments. And Shane has never been so afraid for their friendship. He can already see Ryan deleting the photos, being awkward around him for the rest of their lives and maybe even being mad at Shane. It's unreasonable, he wasn't the one who posted the photos but he's spiraling now, and it's unstoppable. Fuck, he needs to call Ryan immediately. So he does, just sitting on his bed and running his hand through his already messy hair.

Ryan wakes up to a ton of notifications and he did not expect this, even though he should have. The comments kill him a little inside, it's like a train run him over.  
He even gets a text from Jake and from his mom too, asking questions, congratulating him and he doesn't know what to do.  
His phone rings then, and he knows who it will be, but he picks it up, dreading the conversation.  
"Yea? "

"Hey, man. Hope I didn't wake you up, but uhh have you checked your phone yet?" Shane asks, desperately trying to stay cool and collected, but there is a nervous edge to his voice.

"Ah,Yes... " he gulps "I have so many notifications that my phone went crazy. Plus my mom and my Brother both messaged me... "

"Oh, yeah, me too." Shane takes a shaky breath, twisting the sheets between his fingers. "Guess we fucked up, huh? What are we gonna do, Ryan? We can't just- say sike, we're not dating. It would be so suspicious, Fuck." He laughs because he doesn't know what else to do.

"Yea... I'm so sorry. I was a dumbass.. I shouldn't." he cuts himself off to take a breath-  
"I shouldn't have..made that post. Not on Valentines day, not with hat caption, I'm sorry"

"Yeah, no, it's okay. You can delete them if you want but- I still think they're nice." Shane admits softly. "We both messed up, but we'll figure it out." He says, breathing in deeply and letting it out.

"Nah I won't delete them, they're good posts." he sighs pulling the cowers tightly around himself. "It's going to be fine we'll figure it out."

"Alright I'm gonna go make a coffee and we can brainstorm something out in the meantime." Shane says, slowly getting out of bed. He feels less numb and panicked now because okay, maybe Ryan won't hate him.

"yea..but you wanna uh, come over? So we can brainstorm here together?'"

"Sure." Shane says after a pause. He's not sure he wants to see Ryan right now but at the same time he really really wants to see him. "I'll be over in like 40 minutes."

"Okay, see you in a bit then.I'll make us some coffe, we need it."

"Fuck, we sure do. See you then." Shane murmurs, hanging up and taking a shower, getting ready. He doesn't bother too much, he's so goddamn nervous about Ryan's reaction, even when he's knocking on his door. Especially then.


	6. We need to talk

Ryan opens the door in sweatpants and a loose shirt 'hey, come in" he radiates nervous energy and tries to tone it down, not with much success.

"Hey." Shane greets him quietly and tries not to stare, or even think about how soft Ryan looks as he walks inside, and makes a beeline for the kitchen. It's like his second home now.

Ryan sits down on the kitchen counter, looking at him working around his kitchen, it's so domestic that it makes his heart melt.

Shane gets himself a mug of coffee and stops in front of Ryan. "So, all our fans and family think we're dating." He says, just stating the obvious.

"Yepp..." he shifts a bit, uncomfortable.his cat-ish nature is very much showing there.

Shane's grip tightens on the mug, and he drags a hand down his face with a sigh. He's trying to gather his thoughts but it's harder than he thought it would be, he can sense Ryan is uncomfortable and it's distracting when that's the thing he was most afraid of. "Do we deny it?"

"I--that's...Maybe we should?' he asks, uncertain and he feels even more uncomfortable, he just wants to curl up in Shane's lap and forget about all this.

"I mean what's the other option? Pretend? Or never address it? After the posts, it would feel wrong. To never even mention it again and carry on like- like friends. Even though that's all we are..." He adds quietly.

Ryan's stomach turns at that "Yea, you're right we have to deny it.." he looks away, feeling like he's going to throw up.  
last night was so great and he hates himself for starting to hope. It was a stupid thing to do.

"Yeah, that would be the best option for everyone," Shane says, keeping his voice even and he thinks it shouldn't feel so bitter and like someone ripped his heart out. "Do you want to make a tweet? Or should I?" He asks tentatively.

Ran wants to say something but he feels his eyes water, he can't fucking believe this is how this ends. "can't we just..." he cuts himself off , taking a breath "can't we wait? I just woke up." he says bitterly, holding back tears, trying not to show how nervous he is.

"Yeah, sorry." Shane murmurs, unintentionally trying to make himself look smaller. None of this is sitting right with him. They should've never posted, but it made Shane so happy. "Just don't want people to speculate further. It's still early in the morning though."

"yea..it's too fucking early for this shit." he says bitterly and moves to go to his bedroom "I need..I need to lay down.." he tries to use it as an excuse but he's shaking a bit and it gives it away.

Well, you shouldn't have posted that and we wouldn't be here." Shane says before he could stop himself. He doesn't mean any of it. He started to panic over Ryan's tone and now he jumped into full-on defensive mode.

Ryan freezes there, just looking at him with wide eyes. He doesn't know what to say to that, but he feels dizzy all of a sudden

I didn't-" Shane cuts himself off, he's dumbass. "I wanna talk about this, please don't just walk away." He says more softly.

"Fuck off" he snaps, because he panics "I post whatever I want to, Shane.. " he huffs, feeling hurt.

"Yeah, sure post whatever you want to... With no regard to how it makes me feel whatsoever." Shane snorts bitterly. He's so in the wrong here because how would Ryan know about his dumb feelings?  
"On fucking Valentine's day." He adds, under his breath

Ryan hugs himself, trying to calm down.  
"Why.. Why would you say that? " he asks, with a growl, being defensive.

Shane flinches slightly and takes half a step back. Even though he's comfortable enough around Ryan, his instincts still react on autopilot, especially when he's as upset as he is right now. "I don't know, Ryan. Maybe I'm fucking scared to lose my best friend over this." He says quietly.

"Well who the hell said you would lose me? Holy shit.. " he snorts "If this can ruin our friendship then I'm fucking dissapointed... "

"Well, I thought it would, going by your reaction. You'd start being uncomfortable around me and it would fuck us up completely and that's the last thing I'd want. Fast forward two years and we're nothing but fucking co-workers who barely even talk anymore because of some pictures." Shane laughs and nervously runs a hand through his hair. It's more honest than he wanted to be. Maybe he really should just go."

Ryan softens up a bit a that." why would I do that,Shane?" he sighs. Maybe they misunderstood each other.  
"Come here" he opens his arms for him, as a peace offering.

Shane stays stubbornly. Well, only for like twenty seconds and then his legs carrying him into Ryan's arms. They've been doing this a lot more lately too, so Shane soaks up the warmth and familiarity of it as he wraps his arms around him. "I'm sorry." He huffs quietly

"Hey,, it's fine." he sighs, letting out a breath he was holding and wrapping him up in a tighter hug "so you're not uncomfortable with me.."  
He trails off.

"No, not at all." Shane snorts softly.  
"And you're not uncomfortable with me either, then?"   
He asks sheepishly, face smushed into Ryan's hair.

"No... " he huffs and starts purring. He couldn't deny that he's enjoying it if he wanted to.

"Alright, that more or less confirms it," Shane says, finally starting to grin again as he feels Ryan's purrs all over his torso. Strangely relaxing. So he tries to melt against him as much as possible almost tipping them over. "I didn't mean what I said about the posts. I like them quite a bit."

Ryan starts purring louder at that and relaxes against Shane, feeling brave suddenly, so he grabs his hand and starts pulling him towards the bedroom "come, talk? " he murmurs softly

"Yeah, I want to," Shane says, holding onto his hand and still not letting go, even when he's sitting on the bed next to Ryan.

Ryan suddenly seems scared and looks at their joined hands, heart hammering in his chest while Shane strokes his hand with his thumb, giving him a bit of time, but he's just as anxious.

"Hey." He says softly, to get his attention. "We don't talk about these kinds of things a lot but you're really important to me Ryan. More than you know. Or more than I ever planned to tell you."

Ryan just squeezes his hand "You're important to me too, and I think I need to tell you about something." he sighs, still nervous, though Shane's hand on his definitely helps.

"Oh? Go on." Shane hums and scoots a little closer, he tries not to get his hopes up. And he fails at it miserably.

"soo..yesterday when we went to have that adventure.." he stalls a bit, looking at Shane "and bumped into that very romantic restaurant...I uh, kinda lied.'

"Lied bout what?" He furrows his eyebrows, kind of confused.

"Well not directly..but the thing is, I knew that restaurant was there." He finishes, not looking at Shane.

"So you took me there, intentionally?" Shane asks slowly, keeping his voice neutral, but his heart is going fucking wild.

"yea, I've been looking at this restaurant, and knew they do valentines day themed stuff and I wanted to take you.  
So when you said there might be a wendy's I fucking panicked, because it went so well!" he snorts

"I knew there was a Wendy's there." Shane says, eyes crinkling as he's still fighting a smile but holy shit, Ryan wanted to take him out! That's all his brain can process at the moment as he's looking at him. "And I'm glad we didn't go find it."

Ryan smiles and lets out a giggle "Me too, it was so romantic and I wanted it to be a date so badly..." he says softly and scoots closer to him "I thought you'll kiss me. I wanted you to, in the restaurant.." he murmurs as he leans closer to him "I almost did in the uber, too."

Shane shudders and pulls his hand away to slide it up to Ryan's shoulder. He needs to take a moment because he feels like he's dreaming and none of this is real. He leans his head on Ryan's shoulder slightly "Me too, Ry I wanted to kiss you too. Both of those times." Shane laughs softly, and puts most of his body weight on him, wrapping him up in a hug. "I should've. I just didn't want to ruin what we had. It was one of the best days I've ever had, I wanted to remember it fondly. Not as 'the night the guy I love broke my darn heart' " 

Ryan is taken aback, but very happy as he asks  
"you love me?" while shaking and pulling him closer, because that's all he can think of right now. HE wanted this for so long he almost can't believe it.

Shane goes tense against him, just slightly, his hands are gripping Ryan's sleeve without him noticing. "Well, uh... Guess it's out of the bag now. Not how I wanted to do it, but yes. I love you." He stumbles on his words, desperately trying to seem calm and collected.

Ryan snorts and smiles so wide, and presses his face to his neck, kissing it, lingering for a while, smiling against his skin. He's so overwhelmed.

"Alright, leave me on read then." Shane murmurs, as he gently leans back to look at him. He doesn't even give Ryan to answer now before pressing their lips together, going in for a long, sweet kiss.

Ryan pushes his fingers into his hair and deepens the kiss, relaxing into it.  
Shane lets out a little gasp before opening his mouth for him eagerly and melting into the kiss. He's so happy he almost dizzy with it, with Ryan finally kissing him.  
Ryan smiles into the kiss then slowly breaks it.  
Shane then bumps their noses together and stays there for a few seconds, just catching his breath and clinging to Ryan, like he's afraid he'd lose him any second. The feeling is mutual as Ryan clings to him too, starting to purr like a little engine.

Shane tugs him down to the bed like it's his, not Ryan's, but he wants to lay down with him and move closer, to feel him purring. He lets himself be manhandled this once and tangles tier legs together, so happy   
"I wanted this so bad" Ryan whispers with closed eyes and blissful expression.

Me too, Ry. I wanted it for a while now. Can't believe we were so oblivious.", He snorts. "We still have to deal with the aftermath of those photos though. But I think it will be easier now."

"Mhmm. I was scared you just want me to take them off and that it makes you uncomfortable but I was wrong I guess." he smiles, snuggling into Shane's side.

"I was afraid of the same thing, to be honest. I didn't even knew you were into guys, let alone me." Shane snorts softly and reaches to cup his cheek. "But I like those photos a lot.

"of course I1m into you" he scoffs "how could I not?"

Well, there are a million reasons, but you're right I'm fucking fantastic, please go on." Shane says, with a bright grin.

Ryan wheezes "I fucking take it back--" he girns and kisses him 

"No, you don't. You love me, baby." Shane teases, and he looks at Ryan softly and so fondly. He rarely lets himself look at him that way, but the thing is, he's allowed now.

"Well and you love me,so..what does that tell about you?" he grins at him too, caressing his sides, lovingly.

"That I have a bad taste in men apparently." Shane says without missing a beat, still grinning like a fool.

"We're even then, you dumbass." he wheezes and just pulls his boyfriend closer. Shane just laughs at him and lets himself enjoy the moment.

"but really...I love you, Shane. I hope you know how much you mean to me too" he admits quietly after the banter died down.

"I know little guy, but thank you" He needed to hear that.

They end up drifting off in each other's arms but it's fine, they'll deal with the rest later. As long as they have eachother they can deal with everything.


End file.
